Possible
which, definite bitch, and full time disaster Helen Robertson is a
genderqueer trans woman moving through the lifelong process of accepting how
lucky they’ve been; using poetry to excise their ire and sorrow — hopefully
turning it into something worthwhile.
They
have work published or forthcoming in CV2, The Fiddlehead, The
Puritan, and The /tƐmz/ Review and others. They are the secretary for Tree Reading
Series and are a reader for Bywords.
Q:
How long have you been in Ottawa, and what first brought you here?
I’ve
actually lived in Ottawa all my life.
What kept me here though, honestly, is a sense of inertia. While I’ve toyed with the thought of moving
to Toronto (ha! look at that rent, no thanks) and Montreal I’m not likely to
follow through. The main reason I’ve
considered it is because Ottawa may be a queer friendly city but it is not a
particularly queer city. I kinda feel
like (and I know this is a massive
generalization) that the community in Ottawa is skews towards queer university
students and assimilated LGBT2QIA folk working in business or government. If I want Ottawa to get queerer the least I
can do is stay.
Q:
How did you first get involved in writing, and subsequently, the writing
community here?
I
actually got into writing when I was young.
I remember, specifically, a grade five poetry unit where I discovered I
had a bit of a knack for it. (Thinking
back on what I was writing then it was surprisingly similar in mood to what I
do now. I could be a tad of a sad
kid.) After that I continued writing for
a while and eventually wound up going to Canterbury. At the time though I kept trying to actively
move away from poetry. While I, largely
due to procrastination, developed the ability to write poems quickly I was
focused on moving towards stage plays, then short stories, then novels. This continued until my mid to late
twenties. Honestly, it wasn't until then
that I came to the realization that poetry was my medium. (I may eventually give an honest go at some
other forms again but for now I’m happy with growing my poetry.)
As
for the community I have Ben Ladouceur and Amanda Earl to thank. A few months after I started writing again I
decided to go to open mics. Ben was very
encouraging and when Tree needed new board members he asked if I was
interested. I then hosted our Pride
event last year where Amanda asked if I was interested in being a reader for
Bywords. I'm not usually the most
forward person so I'm very grateful that they both chose to approach me.
Q:
How did being in such a community of writers shift your thinking about writing,
if at all?
Honestly, I'd say that, more than anything
else, it allowed me to even further embrace the direct and curt nature of my
writing. Receiving positive feedback
about those poems really helped me accept that element.
Q:
What do you see happening here that you don’t see anywhere else? What does
Ottawa provide, or allow?
To
be honest I can’t say what is happening here that isn’t happening
elsewhere. I haven’t lived elsewhere and
I have not even visited Toronto in… gosh, I think seven years now if not
more. One thing that I have heard
though, and definitely experience as well, is that the poetry community here
has a strong sense of comradery. If
there is any “competition” it is not centered around being better than someone
else but rather a feeling of motivation garnered by watching your friends and
peers find success.
That
sense of community is definitely one of the big things that Ottawa
provides. However, I think that one
thing that Ottawa offers for me in particular is a dearth of trans poetry. While I, obviously, do not think that is a
good thing I can’t deny that it has most likely been beneficial for me. It allows me to fill a niche, one I would
have been trying to fill anyway (as I said my poetry is unsubtle,) and thereby
draw attention to myself by being one of the few people in Ottawa writing on
the topic.
Q:
Have any of your projects responded directly to your engagements here? How have
the city and its community, if at all, changed the way you approached your
work?
The only project that I can say has is the
collective VII. When lockdown started I
approached some folk about writing some exquisite corpse poems together as a
way to keep community and fight against boredom. Everyone enjoyed it enough that we’ve just
kept going and so we made VII.
Q:
What are you working on now?
For
personal projects right now I’m trying to get multiple chapbook manuscripts
together so I have a few to send out.
The one I’m working on right now is centered around sex and sexuality
because the COVID lockdown has got me in *ahem* particular moods. I’ll also soon be starting the next section
of my erasure of “The Man Who Would Be Queen” a, let’s say, less than friendly
academic text about trans women. The
first suit of this erasure is actually going to be appearing in The /tƐmz/
Review. I am also continuing to work in
VII. VII in fact has a chapbook “Towers” coming out next year
with Collusion Press.
I’m hoping that after I get a couple of
solo chapbooks accepted I can start getting together a full length but honestly
I might be getting ahead of myself there.
